Can ya tell me where a man might find a bed

Blogging tunes: Howard Stern - March 10, 2010

Looks like I've drifted back to being a year behind on Stern -- havent had time to listen that much lately. Clearly, I should be able to catch up over the next few weeks.

I am typing this update from the UCSF food court across from 505 Parnassus. I just finished a veggie burrito and am waiting for the call from the Nurse's Station on 11 Long telling me that my bed is ready. Until then, I have my iPad and Howard to keep me company.

I got The burrito at 3pm -- my first food of the day save for a shot of espresso and some pickle juice at 7am. Yup, today was a "fast" day since I had my Hickman Line put in at 1pm. Not sure why they didn't want me eating prior to the procedure, but I guess you gotta follow the rules when it comes to surgery.

I was able to leave right after the surgery since I refused the sedative they wanted to give me. What is it with hospitals these days? By default they wanna dope you up! Sorry, I'll deal with a little pain if it means I can get up and leave afterwards. Want me to be buzzed, I'll take a martini, please.

So I'm going to write until I get the call, and then I'll write much more this week. Lots to talk about regarding the BMT and the vacation to Philly. Let's start with what's going on right now.

My Hickman Line is in and can stay in for more than a year(!) Hopefully, I won't need it that long. It's like the PICC lines that I've had in the past, but it accesses the circulatory system through the jugular and tunnels through the skin and comes out on the chest so that the ports a can be protected by your shirt. The procedure was pretty simple and didn't hurt that much except for the lidocaine (local numbing agent.)

If that were the only needle I had to deal with, it would have been an easy day. Nope, that was the third. First was the normal blood draw, which doesn't usually hurt except for the initial "ok, here comes a little prick," part. I don't know what this woman did, but it *really* hurt today. She just kept it right there and drew 6 little tubes of blood. I'm cringing and closing my eyes, and she says, "it doesn't still hurt does it?" Ummmm, YES it does! She says, "I don't know, it's in like it normally is, it shouldn't be hurting." Great.

Then, before the Hickman procedure, they needed to give me an IV. Yay, "little prick #2." Of course, they didn't use the IV, since I refused the sedative. But it needed to be there in case there were complications and they needed to give me something. I'll probably take something tonight as the lidocaine is starting to wear off.

OK, just got the call. Heading up to 11 Long.

I will kick its ass,

-jg